Why I’m taking a break from instagram

I know, I know, I know. Nothing’s worse then those people who brag about “taking a break” or “leaving instagram.” Seriously, I get it, and I swear that I am not here to tell you that I am smarter, better, or more mature than you because I’m taking a break from the ‘gram. I’m not, and that’s not what this is about.

I strive to be real in this space. To share some of my struggles so anyone out there who has felt them can know that they’re not alone, and I know that I’m not the only one who has struggled with their relationship with Instagram. The platform has actually been an amazing place for me for years. I’ve made friends, got many jobs, and above all – had a place to be freely creative in a way that worked for me.

The past year or so I’ve struggled with it though. I’ve found myself questioning at times why I’m sharing, and feeling caught up in the rat race of it all. I want to create and share things that truly help and inspire others, and I know there’s been plenty of times I’ve completely forgotten about that goal and was simply sharing and creating to keep the platform happy (and felt shame because of that). That’s not what I want to be doing. I don’t want to worry about likes or comments or followers. I want to focus on the goals that matter to me, but it’s really hard to fully let go of all that other junk sometimes.

Here’s the other thing – If you don’t know, I have body dysmorphia. While I’ve worked really hard to overcome and manage it the best I can, it can still hit me hard at times and feel almost debilitating. I’ve always been very careful on Instagram to curate my feed to try to avoid anything that would trigger me, as well as policing any destructive thoughts that come up when scrolling, but it’s hard when you slip into a bad place. Lately, I’ve been struggling with it more and have found it harder to avoid or overcome those thoughts. We all know instagram is a highlight reel, and that’s okay, but when you’re not feeling your best, it can be hard to only see those highlights. I’ve been feeling the need to give my brain a break from those highlights and take more time to pay attention to what’s real.

I may be back in full swing instagraming again in a few weeks, or maybe not. For myself I’ve found that it’s important to give myself the flexibility to figure out what’s works for me in the moment, and be willing to adjust. Right now, Instagram isn’t working for me, that doesn’t mean it’s bad or other people who do use it are bad, and it doesn’t mean I won’t even use it again. All that it means is that in this moment it’s not right for me. I passionately believe that anytime you feel that little voice in your head saying that something isn’t right, listen, and give yourself permission to change course. So here’s to a little vacation for my brain!