December is upon us. The time of merriment and…stress. Lots of stress. Whether it’s shopping for gifts, running from party to party, or the overwhelm of family obligations it’s dang stressful and it’s important to take time to care for yourself. Self care is such a trendy topic these days. You can search the tag #selfcare online and find anything from pictures of bath bombs to Starbucks drinks to a picture of light bulbs I came across that honestly I still don’t understand. It’s a joke at this point that you can do whatever and slap the title of “self care” on it and go on your merry way. The question is, what the heck is self care, for real?
Self care can, and should, be different from person to person. Not all of the same things that I consider self care will resonate with you, but I think there are some easy guidelines for anyone to figure out how to navigate the “self care world” and the countless companies trying to take advantage of the trend and make a buck from it. Here’s the checklist I go through when vetting real self care.
It Should Recharge You
Just because you enjoy something, doesn’t mean it’s self care. As much as I love going out with my friends, it most certainly is not going to leave me feeling refreshed the next day. In fact, I usually need some serious self care after a late night out, even if it was a great time. That’s totally fine, but I know that I can’t just slap the label of self care on a fun Friday night and give myself a free pass.
What does recharge me? Time alone. As an introvert I definitely need quiet alone time if I’m going to run at my best. I need time to process and think uninterrupted. Sometimes it means writing here on my blog, or in my journal, and sometimes it’s as simple as sneaking out for quick walk by myself during the day. Finding what truly helps center you is crucial to getting the most out of your self care time, so take time to think about actions really help clear your mind.
It Shouldn’t Bring Negatives
A lot of what’s being marketed as self care is all about making you feel better right this second, at any cost. Self care doesn’t need to cost your entire paycheck. If you spend hundreds of dollars you don’t have on treating yourself to some self care, most likely it’s coming back to bite you in the ass, which is not caring for yourself at all. it’s setting yourself up for failure. Stealing from your future self to make your current self happy is sabotage, plain and simple.
Most of the best self care is either free or incredibly cheap. You don’t need to run up a credit card bill to participate. Journaling is proven to help lower stress and think more clearly. Don’t think you have anything to write about? Make a list of all the good things in your life. Even on days when I feel like I have nothing to journal about I take 3 minutes to write down any and everything I have to be grateful for. Just that little act can help refocus your mind, and it’s totally free!
It Should Enrich You
Exercise isn’t what most people think of when they hear “Self Care”, but I know when I’m not feeling 100% that hitting the gym or going for a run is usually one of the best things I can do to truly help myself. Sometimes ordering a pizza and eating it all by myself while watching Netflix sounds like the “self care” I want, but we both know that’s not going to make me feel better long term (although for some reason I’m always willing to give it another try). Your self care shouldn’t leave you feeling guilty or sad later, it should be something that enriches your life beyond the few moments you spend doing it.
Sometimes self care doesn’t feel great in the moment, but leaves you with lasting benefits. It isn’t always pretty. Sometimes for me it’s taking the time to do the dishes, knowing it will elevate my stress to not see the sink full every time I walk through the kitchen. Other times It’s spending a few extra minutes making myself a healthy meal instead of grabbing take out. Of course, there are still the quintessential easy go to’s I will always love, but seriously, what’s as cheap and calming as a good bubble bath?
Self care is important. My brain tends to run non stop, and so does the rest of my body most days, so taking taking time to really care for myself is important. but it’s just as important to make sure how you’re practicing it is something that will truly help you. So take a step back and ask yourself a few questions before jumping into “self care” and make sure you’re setting yourself up for success.
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